I haven't blogged in some time...life got a hold of me and we have been busy. But today I just needed an outlet to vent. I've noticed more and more as the kids get older that so much importance is put on "stuff". Here in our household, we are in the midst of a dreaded PTO fundraiser for Mia's school...the wrapping paper. While I don't disagree with fundraisers, I do have a problem with the standards that are set for these kids who are far too young to understand them. Which leaves it to the parents to make the tough decisions on how to handle these things.
Let me start at the beginning. Last year we just HAD to sell five items so that she could get her stuffed hippo key chain. Luckily she has two sets of very supportive grandparents who ordered enough for her to get her hippo. This year it's a crocodile. I made sure we had enough ordered (and yes I grumbled as I wrote the check late last night) so that she wouldn't feel left out when the entire class is presented with their crocodiles. As I put the items in her backpack this morning she said "wow! I hope I sold enough for the Limo ride to have pizza with the principal". The amount needed for this prize is $200. I very gently said how sorry I was, but no we didn't sell enough to earn that. A few minutes later as we were standing in the bathroom getting her hair done for school I noticed the big tears pooling in her beautiful blue eyes. As the tears spilled down her cheeks she asked why we couldn't just order enough so she could have this fun lunch outing. As we normally are in the mornings, we were rushing around so I gave her a big hug and said "that's just too expensive". I guess I hadn't realized that I never really differentiate to her the difference between what we CAN afford versus what we CHOOSE to afford. I throw the word budget around frequently but haven't ever stopped to fully explain to her why we make the decisions we make when it comes to money. I realize she's only 6, but these are things that she's starting to understand. So as we were getting shoes on she said (with a few tears still remaining) so what CAN we afford? Here is where I realized that I've maybe failed a little in explaining to her how and why we live the way we do. I'm so quick to say "we can't afford that" or "it's not in our budget". To her that means we don't physically have the money, where my meaning is usually that we have the money but aren't going to choose to spend it in that way.
So with this fundraiser: Could we afford to write a $200 check for this? Yes. Are we going to? Nope. My responsibility as a mom is to teach my kids what is truly important in life. I feel like we have gotten so caught up in the material stuff that we have lost focus on what is really important. So how do you find that balance? How do you balance making sure your kids fit in at school and with their friends, while still trying to instill a sense of responsibility in them? I want my children to be grateful for what we have and work hard to earn the things that they want. I want them to understand the difference between what we NEED vs what we WANT. We don't live in a big fancy house or take elaborate vacations. We don't eat out a lot or buy the latest and greatest electronics every few months. But we do provide a nice house, with plenty of space for them to grow. We drive nice, comfortable and SAFE vehicles to get us around. They have clothes to wear and food to eat. Medicine when they are sick, doctors visits when needed and more toys and books than they can probably ever play with. Yes I buy name brand clothes for them, but I bargain shop sales. I clip coupons. And we make sure that we put money into savings out of every paycheck. We live comfortably, but we live on a budget. I want them to be able to not look at those who have more than us with envy, but to see those less fortunate than us with empathy and to be grateful that God has blessed us in so many ways.
So as I sent my sweet girl off to school, I spent some time thinking as I walked back to our house from the bus stop with a heavy heart. I would give that girl the moon if I could. What touched me so deeply was that her tears weren't out of anger or frustration, but out of sadness. The things we talked about made sense to her and she agreed there were much better things to spend that $200 on.But at age 6 it's still such a hard concept.
So my goal from this day forward with each of my three children is to raise them to the best of my ability with an understanding of what is really important in life. It's not things and materials. It's our family, our friends, our Lord and our love. It's giving to those in need and cherishing the things that we have. It's living every day realizing that nothing on this earth is a guarantee but that they know when they wake up every morning that their dad and I will do everything in our power to make sure that they are happy, healthy, hugged and loved each and every day. I guess I'm setting out to improve the world, one kid at a time :)
Thanks for listening.
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